i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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