so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
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some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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