I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
