I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize