if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
