I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
