Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
