Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
