there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
