Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
