Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
