I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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