I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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