sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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