so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
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