I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
The power of my boobs compel you
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
