I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
