So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
COCAINE IS GR8
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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