Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
