if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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