Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
