I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
