Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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