Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You're like the curious george of whores
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
