covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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