what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
