That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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