I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
