how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
