Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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