Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
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I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
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Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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