I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
