I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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