a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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