even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
