Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
