I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
