I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
