...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
