Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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