you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
