I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
