All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize