I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
