i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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