I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize