Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We are all done wearing pants today
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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