At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
No more Irish car bombs ever.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
