Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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