All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
