how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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