totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Damn victory sex feels great
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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