Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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