So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
