Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I am midnight drunk by noon
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
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I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
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Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
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