for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
