dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
