hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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