you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
