Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
