Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We got so high we made milksteak
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
