I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
