its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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